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fakedick:

Hey, if you accidentally call a guy “daddy” in conversation, just save yourself by adding “-o” to the end and slick your hair back like a 1950’s greaser. And throw on your sick-ass leather jacket

Your thirst is hidden and now you’re the coolest dude in school

thrustingbutts:

skincarvedheart:

that-horny-mofo:

Remember when Kim Possible was on Lilo and Stitch?

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Or How about when The Proud Family decided to visit?

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Or when those fucking kids from Recess came over to Hawaii

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Lilo was a popular little bitch.

the conflicting art styles are making me uncomfortable…

(Source: thehornymofo)

chekhov:

Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I’m much more stressed than I was earlier :/

unicornvampirekid:

Me

(Source: lambtime)

y2kid:

i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them

lune-brulant:

2squirrels1cup:

inner—utopia:

Bless that one person in every group that is like “keep going, I’m listening” and encourages you to finish your story even when everyone else is talking over you.

Amen

bblackgoldd:

I am so glad I pressed play

(Source: better-than-kanye-bitchh)

(Source: hirocks)

langleav:

Just wrote this poem last night. You know that feeling when you fall asleep in the day and when you wake up, it’s already dark? Not sure why but it always makes me feel melancholy. Anyway, I hope you like it… it’s the first poem I have written in a really long time (hence the first line.) I’ve been so busy getting ready for the September launch of my new book Lullabies. Hopefully, there will be more new poems soon… A thousand kisses to you all! xo Lang 

langleav:

Just wrote this poem last night. You know that feeling when you fall asleep in the day and when you wake up, it’s already dark? Not sure why but it always makes me feel melancholy. Anyway, I hope you like it… it’s the first poem I have written in a really long time (hence the first line.) I’ve been so busy getting ready for the September launch of my new book Lullabies. Hopefully, there will be more new poems soon… A thousand kisses to you all! xo Lang 

(Source: orangeskins)

meladoodle:

rodneykong:

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

spoken-not-written:

SINCE MY GRANDMA WORKS IN A CLINIC SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH AIDS/HIV I ASKED HER TO GET ME SOME CONDOMS JUST CAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY AND SHE FUCKING COMES BACK WITH A WHOLE BOX

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thanks grandma

dilemmemily:

one time we got a new kid in fifth grade and he walks right in and sticks his hand under the stapler and staples his hand and just looks at the teacher and goes “I’m going to the nurse” and leaves

(Source: saudcleveland)

dehlusion:

Guys be like “don’t wear leggings if you don’t got no ass” and I see you bitches walking around in muscle shirts without any muscles so pipe the fuck down